I Don't Know

I Don’t Know

Clarity was something that did not used to elude me. I knew what I wanted; I knew how to obtain it. Even the world seemed to make more sense. Getting a job, an internship, an opportunity could be virtually guaranteed by satisfying the specified requirements. I knew how to operate in this controlled system. Today, I live life with great uncertainties. Caught between indecision and an increasingly tenuous social, geopolitical and economic environment, I am nearly paralyzed. How do I proceed when I don’t know what I want? Moreover, even if I could identify a particular pursuit, achieving it would be difficult if at all possible.

In trying to focus long enough to compose this blog entry, I am compelled to try to approach my dilemma with logic. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs seems like a decent means of evaluating my life’s deficiencies and drives. Upon assessment, I recognize that I have satisfied my physiological, esteem, and self-actualization needs. Somehow, I have satisfied higher needs without satisfying some of my more basic needs. When it comes to the needs of safety and belonging, I am deficient.

In order to satisfy these unattained needs, I need to determine the appropriate geographic location and field to pursue without compromising my other needs. So how do I determine what motivates me? How do I determine what will enable me to feel secure while allowing me to feel enlightening, accomplished and benevolent? How do I not feel overwhelmed and lost by the realization that a month before turning 25 I am completely unsure about everything? The only thing of which I am sure, is that I want to be a part of something worthwhile; to contribute to something that’s legacy is replete with contributions made and results realized. I want to make a difference and contribute to the positive transformation of our world.

But how do I achieve this? As of now, I just don’t know.